Walking that Extra Love Mile Barefoot
by rominastephanie
Summary: Jacob hadn't known what he'd been waiting for, until there was a knock on his door and there she was. Post-Eclipse. A/U - Jacob/Bella
1. The Beginning of the End

**Disclaimer**: Characters, places and events belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot is, however, mine.

**A/N**: I've had this story on my laptop at least a year and a half, but gave up on it. But yesterday I was once again inspired and decided to post it. It's AU and a Jacob/Bella story, so if you're not a fan, you've been warned.

* * *

**Walking that Extra Love Mile Barefoot**

**I. **_The Beginning of the End_

He had run with nothing else in mind but the image of her, excruciating and ripping his insides to shreds. They'd all thought they wouldn't see him for quite some time and truth be told, Jacob hadn't been planning on returning. But he did and it was to find Billy sighing with relief. He wasn't sure what he had in mind as he neared home, or as he entered through the front door, but as soon as he saw his dad, he was glad he'd made that impulsive decision of coming back. He realized that he'd missed home while being away.

The following days and weeks, he didn't hear much – or listened more like – of the town gossip. About her, them or the wedding. Whatever it was that had happened. If she was where she was meant to be, then what more could he do that he hadn't already done? He avoided everyone, even his father, whose worry was visible on his aging features. It made him feel bad – maybe he shouldn't have returned, he would think.

The weeks continued dragging on. He still hadn't heard anything. He barely got together with the pack, knowing they would know whatever was going on. He didn't want them in his head either, not feeling like sharing the pain or hopelessness he felt. Still not wanting to feel _their_ pity for him.

If Charlie had come to see them, he wouldn't know about it, constantly locked in his room when visitors came by. But then it had happened. What he'd been waiting for, even though he hadn't even known it at the time. He'd been sitting in his kitchen; carving a little figurine like the one he'd gotten Bella, when he heard the unmistakable roar of her truck pull into their driveway. It couldn't be her, he'd thought. _It's all in my head._

He doesn't know when he let go of his tools or when he stood up. He can't remember what ran through his head as he walked to the front door, as though he was walking through a haze, a fog, in a dream. He knows nothing of that moment, but the sound that finally woke him: three raps. _Knock, knock, knock. _What had he expected? A smile? A hug? He can't remember.

He masked his emotions and opened the door. But it was a façade he wouldn't be able to keep for long. She looked broken, fragile and had her arms across her chest, like she used to when it got to be too much for her, the times when it was him and her, they, together. Her eyes were filled with such a sorrow that seemed too much to bear – too much for _her_ to bear. She was paler than usual and the purple bags indicated the lack of sleep. She raised her gaze tentatively with a guilty, hurtful expression on her face. He wanted to kiss away the sadness.

"I'm sorry," was all that came out through her lips and in that instant, he knew everything. She wasn't only apologizing for the pain she'd caused him as much as she was apologizing for having kept him waiting. Jacob realized then and there that she had left _him_, them_,_ and that immortality was no longer set out for her. She had come home to him.

He opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing her to walk past him. Tears ran freely down her cheeks as she looked around her, taking everything in. He put one arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him.

"Bella," he whispered, barely audible.

"Not now, Jake."

There would be no explaining that night.

"Can we…" she hesitated, lowering her gaze. Jacob removed a tear from her cheek and gently lifted her chin with his hand.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Sleep. I need to sleep… Can we?" Bella asked in a tone that actually managed to break his heart a thousand times over. He looked into her lifeless eyes. _Will I bring them back to life?_

Jacob said nothing, simply led the way. Before no time, she had her head resting against his chest, her body pressed lightly against his; his body working as a shield of some kind.

It was as though she counted on him to shield her from the pain of existing.


	2. It is at moments after I have dreamed

**Disclaimer**: Everything you recognize belong to Stephenie Meyer. Chapter title from a poem by E.E. Cummings.

**A/N**: Second chapter here. I hope it makes sense - it's very... rambly (yeah, not sure that's a word). Anyway, hope you like it!

* * *

**II**. _It is at moments after I have dreamed_

It was at moments after she had dreamt that she would feel ultimate relief, having been chased by nightmares too many times to count the past two years. Those times she would be happy to realize that she was home, in her bed, most likely in company of Edward as soon as she awoke. But something would change this time, as sleep enclosed her slowly.

She vaguely remembered the cold she would feel as she drifted off to sleep when he lay beside her; a cold that would seep into her bones and into the depths of her dreams. The fear she sometimes would feel as she simmered through images that scared her. The winds, the fogs, everything that was cold and forlorn. The forest, the running, never reaching wherever she was heading.

This time, there was no cold to begin with. Her dreams were a series of images, of hurtful expressions, all at an arm's length but still too far for her to reach. But she was not freezing; there were no winds and she was not lost in an ancient forest. She was only processing her choice of having changed paths in life completely, abruptly. Even in her dream she knew that their faces would never quite vanish – they would always be waiting there, taking her with them to an abyss too wide to escape from. What would keep her sane was the warmth, the inexplicable warmth that radiated from the sun above, beaming at her in the forget-me-not blue skies. It was a sun that would always accompany her to wherever the images would take her.

She knew what it meant; she knew who it was. Bella snuggled closer to the warmth; not bothering if it was almost suffocating her. She could distinctly hear a heart pound evenly and then she could make out the feel of someone's arm around her waist securely. With much effort, she opened an eye, relieved – yes, she would always feel relief after dreaming – that she was surrounded by reality.

"Hi," she heard a gruff voice greet her and Bella raised her eyes and met Jacob's dark orbs. Her heart skipped a beat, but there was still something in the pit of her stomach that would probably never go away. The feeling that something _was_ still missing – and that it always would.

"Hey," she said in return and stretched her neck to kiss his cheek. She didn't know if she should, if he would object or if it was simply wrong of her to come to the conclusions she had. _What if he's changed his mind_? she wondered. The stabbing in her heart did not help her think clearly in any way.

Jacob, realizing that doubt was clouding her every emotion and thought, placed his hand gently under her chin as he'd done when she'd come to him and raised it, locking his eyes with her once again. Then he bowed his head, almost hesitantly, to see if she would turn her head away. Despite the fact that she was not wearing a ring no more, the simple fact that she wasn't ready could exist.

But she did not turn her head. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him with feathery pecks, upon his lips, cheek, chin, nose, eyelid. Every little patch of skin she found, she kissed.

"Maybe you should leave and come back more often," he joked in a quiet voice and even though she didn't found it as funny – not yet, she thought – her heart fluttered at the way he seemed; light-hearted, less bitter. They were coming back to each other.

"I'll never leave," was all she said. And she meant it.

"Me either," he promised. He kissed her one last time and then they returned to their postures with a content sigh.

"Do you want to know something?" Bella asked after they had lain still for what had seemed like hours.

"Yeah," he answered her simply and she needed no further encouragement.

"I was dreaming… And I saw them, as I probably always will as soon as I close my eyes, even though _I_ left… But I wasn't cold. For once, I wasn't cold. It was as though you were there with me, shielding me from it. From it all," she finished in barely more than a whisper and he tightened his arms around her fragile frame.

"I will always be there, you know. Even when you don't want me to," he said and he didn't sound taunting or mocking or… nothing. He sounded like Jacob, like her Jacob, and she knew that from then on he would always tell her nothing but the truth.

And she smiled at that fact.

Relieved. Happy.


	3. I fear no fate

**Disclaimer**: Characters by Stephenie Meyer. Chapter title from a poem by E.E. Cummings.

**A/N**: This chapter is the next to last, I'm afraid to tell you. I'm not sure I'll be writing a sequel yet, but you never know. Until then, this and the next chapter is all that's left. I want to thank all of you who have read, reviewed and favourited this story so far. Means a lot.

As for Bella and Jacob in this chapter - I'm not sure they're all that true to canon in this chapter. I'd love to hear any opinions you might have on the matter. Thank you!

* * *

**III**. I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

**One Year Later**

A year passed by and it occurred to Jacob one day that he still didn't know what had made her change her mind.

He had tried to lurk it out of her, because he knew that asking her bluntly would probably earn him a day without her speaking to him. It wasn't like the first time the bloodsuckers had left, when Bella would answer his questions while her heart would break into pieces in front of him. Now it would, but he wouldn't be able to witness it first handedly. So he avoided it, because not seeing it was worse than experiencing it.

She was happy. He knew that much. It was nothing like that first time either – because now, he would shield her from all that could possibly cause her pain and she would let him. By any means possible. He remembered the first time they'd made love; as bittersweet as he had imagined it would be. Her skin against his skin had been mesmerizing and, while they loved each other passionately, it wasn't an emotion that was mirrored during the act itself. There was patience, there was love. There was ultimate sadness and contentment. It was all and more he had ever hoped for.

She responded to him always. To his kisses and touches and whispers. But sometimes he would catch her lost in thought, in daydreams, but he knew it would've been the same had she stayed with _him_. She would always wonder, and Jacob couldn't hold it against her.

Bella had decided to delay her college education two years. Jacob had insisted he could drop out of school, not really caring, said he could get at job at any car repair shop he felt like, but she said that he could do better. And he would listen to her. Anything to please her.

Life was slow in Forks. She still lived with her father, but rarely spent her time there. He supposed the closer she was to her home, her house, the more memories would infiltrate the many walls to protect her heart. La Push had always been a kind of haven in that sense for her, he imagined.

The day was much like any other, when they sat on their huge piece of driftwood by the shore. He was holding her hand, and why it still was as easy as breathing, as natural, holding hands meant so much more than the times Jacob would grab her hand when she'd still pictured them as just friends. Everything was different – every syllable spoken, every touch of their skin, even the way they looked at each other.

It was love.

They weren't speaking at the moment – simply enjoying the fact that the sun finally peeked from behind the grey clouds, warming their skins as much as it could. How she loved the sun, he noticed as he looked at her. But there was something nagging at the back of Jacob's mind and as much as he didn't want to, he knew it was time. He wanted, if not the whole truth, then a piece of it.

"Bella? Please don't go and throw a punch at me, 'cause you know you'll hurt yourself, but I want to ask you something," he began, his words flowing as water. She turned away from the sun and opened her chocolate eyes, curious and enquiring.

"Is it that bad?" she joked and Jacob had to smile. It was the smile she loved.

"Perhaps. See, I… I've been meaning to ask you… What changed your mind?"

He knew he shouldn't have brought it up, because the air between them tensed. It was, for a moment, horrifying.

"You know I should punch you right now, don't you?" she said and gritted her teeth.

"I'm sorry. But I need to know," he answered her, not showing her how much the words really affected him.

She sighed heavily and looked away from him, thinking of what words to use to make him understand all the much easier.

"The months prior to that final choice, I lived with a lot of doubt, Jacob. It was not only you who had me doubting, but my family too. At times I knew I wouldn't want to change. But I… I loved him. And letting go of him was a much bigger sacrifice than anything else."

The words cut at him, most likely left him bleeding, but he squeezed her hand, encouraging her to continue.

"But then I remembered things, words, said to me, that started to gather in my head, being said over and over for days. And I couldn't ignore it. Finally, it was your voice that was heard above the others."

"What did I say?"

"You remember that time when you first kissed me, and I was so angry with you I could barely think straight?"

He laughed silently at the memory. "How can I ever forget?"

"Ha ha. Anyway. I told you I couldn't be happy without him. And you said I'd never tried. And you were right," she finished.

"And now… Now that you have tried… Are you?" he asked silently, afraid she one day might wake up and find that her other fate was right there again, waiting for her to come. Waiting for her to run side by side with it.

"You were right," she said, probably remembering something else he'd said that he had intentionally forgotten. After a short while, she turned to him again and asked, "Will you answer me something in return now?" and how could he possibly deny it as he gazed into her pleading eyes?

He didn't even hesitate when he said, "Yeah."

"How do you know… that… perhaps you're not meant to be with me after all? What if we leave in less than a year and you lay eyes on this beautiful girl, and imprint? What do I do then, Jacob?" she asked him with so much fear in her voice it surprised him.

"That will never happen, Bella. I'm not afraid that that will ever happen – because _you_ are my fate, my destiny. You're my everything," he answered her with such sincerity she couldn't even doubt him if she wanted to.

Her livid face calmed immediately and a sigh of relief escaped her, to be taken away by the wind.

"I _am_ happy with you," she whispered then almost inaudibly before closing her eyes and leaning against him.


	4. Happiness

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Chapter title from a poem by E.E. Cummings. I'm only the mind behind the plot.

**Author's Note**: Here it is, the final chapter. It's pretty short, but I'm still quite happy with it, and if inspiration strikes, I might write a sequel. Anyways, I'd love it if you'd let me all know what you thought of this chapter and story one final time. Thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed, favorited and subscribed! Means a lot.

* * *

**IV**. _Saying: Accept all happiness from me_

**Years Later**_  
_

"How's college treating you, Bells?" her father had asked her once, with pride in his voice and she'd smiled at him.

She'd answered that it was fun, but that she wanted to return home and it surprised both of them when they realized that home was Forks. So much bad had happened during her entire stay with him, Charlie had been prepared if one day he'd wake up and she wasn't there.

When college was over, the first thing Bella did was go home. She'd told Charlie and Jacob the same thing days before – that if they wanted to help her with her stuff they should wait a week. They'd been suspicious, but she had wanted to surprise them. Her things were in storage and she figured they'd go back together eventually. Now, she just wanted to get back home.

When she went to surprise Charlie, who had this contagious smile plastered across his face, Bella was happy about the path she finally chose. She had given up a lot when she decided to leave Edward, but she would have given up a lot more had she gone with him.

And four years later, she didn't regret it. She'd felt sorrow at times, and she had wondered about what she was missing, probably always would, and sometimes the dreams had become unbearable, but whenever she'd be with her father in the future, or with Jacob, in his embrace, or visiting her mom, she wouldn't be regretful.

When she dropped by Jacob's, who have been living with himself ever since Billy died two years earlier, she couldn't remember ever having been so happy. He pulled her off the ground and she laughed and he smiled and buried his head in her hair and they soaked everything in.

It was a while since they had seen each other, at least four months, because he was busy with work and she was busy with school. But it was all over and they were together again.

"I thought me and your dad were supposed to pick you up," Jacob said when he let her down and kissed her fiercely.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, then, it'd seem only fair if I had one of those in return."

Jacob's eyes were glinting and Bella was suddenly very curious.

"What's going on?"

"I was offered a job. It pays good and I'm kind of looking forward to it but… I'd have to move."

Her heart literally stopped beating. Was he leaving her? And if so, why did he seem _happy?_

"Move? Where?" her voice was abrupt, a bit cold, but that didn't budge him.

"Portland."

"Oh."

They were both quiet; Jacob having been expecting a more enthusiastic response and Bella wondering how she'd survive without him.

"Well, good for you."

"Me? Bella – you aren't thinking I'm leaving without you, are you?"

"Yes, I was."

He responded by laughing heartily, like the idea was stupid, and suddenly, Bella's heart was beating again.

"So you're saying… You're saying you want us to move away – together? Like – live together?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Wow."

Another response he wasn't expecting, Bella noticed. She also noticed the panic starting to creep in on him and that's when she said, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, let's move to Portland."

And that was her, and him, accepting all happiness from each other.

**The End**


End file.
